When I Loved You

Before you feared for yourself
That’s when I loved you.
Before you guarded yourself
Like you were the most beautiful
Thing you could ever have
To hold.
When you thought that I was lovely
And you told me so.
When you let me matter more
To you
Than you did.
That’s when you knew how
To forgive.
I thought maybe at last
God had left an angel here,
But in the dark of the night
When I needed you most
You showed me your horns.
You made me
So happy.
Because finally I had something
To give you.
I fell upon my knees
Wrapped my arms around you,
Your poor sin-stained body,
And I said joyously, humbly,
“I forgive you.”
That’s when I loved you.
Cause you weren’t afraid
And you could let yourself
Ask for help.
But then you walked away
From me
And the ground I was kneeling on,
Loving you
Cause you had learned how
To fear.
As you walked away from me,
That’s when I loved you.
And now you’re stronger,
Never need my help,
Never will be weak in front of me,
Never going to see you cry.
Never going to love me the same.
You write over all my dreams
With lists and lists of nevers,
And I’m trying to show you love
Because I need to,
But you don’t want it
And you’re different now,
And you were so beautiful then
And that’s when I loved you.

6 thoughts on “When I Loved You

  1. This is amazingly beautiful, Ellery, and even though not all the lines rhyme (as far as I can tell) it’s simplicity makes it even more impactful.

    Liked by 1 person

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