Poetry Dump (1)

I WROTE WORDS. Read at your own discretion, I get dark/disturbing sometimes. It’s been months since I’ve written, and I’m trying to retrain myself, but that involves a lot of not editing. And also apparently capital letters and proper punctuation cramp my artistic style, so we’re pretending to be uneducated in the ways of The Grammars, now! And rhyming? It’s not going to happen. More likely by far that I complete a novel than that I rhyme my poetry.

Untitled
i see butterflies and palaces of crystal
i see fields of daisies and ribbons of silk
all i can hear is the sound of my chains falling away
all i can taste is freedom slipping past my lips
and yeah, maybe there’s blood pooling beneath me
and yeah, maybe the crystal i see is tears unfallen
but i believe in miracles and they’ll transform
the last miracle the earth will ever see
will be the release of its lonely prisoners
and i’m the first
so yeah, i see sunshine and i see fresh snow
this blood keeps me warm till i slip away
these tears hide earth’s ugly face
and i can feel it happening
soon, so very soon
they said i’m depressed, but i’ve never felt so happy

didn’t you love me?
you know i would have written you love songs
you know i would have kissed your hands
you know that i knew you inside out
i never meant to hurt your tender soul
never meant to turn into the monster
that once upon a time lived under your bed
i was angry
will always now be angry
you know i would have held you in the night
you know i would have cared for you
you know that i hated to be denied
i never meant to strike you
never meant for you to see my darkness
that once upon a time was hidden away
i was angry
why, oh why didn’t you listen?
you know you were in love with me
you know you should have done anything for me
you know that i needed you
i never meant for you to lay there
never meant for you to not get back up
i was angry
you should have listened

i’m sorry
my words are as cheap as my soul
bought by desire, sold to a whim
weak as my will, ineffectual as “i’m sorry”
my thoughts as ugly as my tears
God? i broke my heart again
God? i’m sorry
God? tomorrow will be the same
i’m sorry
but you know, i know
i’m not that sorry
i thought plastic became gold
just by being bought
just by being wanted
so why do i keep cracking apart?
every time i run, i wait for you to follow
wait for you to abandon me
when i’m drowning in myself,
when i’m living of the world,
when i reach the farthest corner of the earth
to see how far you will chase,
i’ll be waiting still
God?

2 thoughts on “Poetry Dump (1)

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