Thankful

To friends who know how much I care about them, and to those who might not be quite so sure.  And, of course, to all the people my heart is searching for but hasn’t found quite yet.

There’s just a few things I have to say to you.  I thought I didn’t have the time to write this right now, because life is such a forgetful, rushing thing, but then your face flashed into my mind and I remembered that I always have time for you.  So here I sit with a guitar leaning on me, inky hands, messy hair, and a head full of love. The time is far from perfect, my words are far from perfect, I am far from perfect…but I’m giving you this imperfect me anyway.

So did you know that this is how I feel?

I’ve always been shy about talking about my feelings, but never with you.  Maybe that’s how we grew so strong, cause if there’s someone here on earth I’d trust, it’d be you.  You’ve always let me know I’m safe with you, so when I talk to you it’s more like I’m telling my better half what’s been going on.  You’ll help me, comfort me, remind me what matters, laugh with me, and sob with me when moonlight and flowers and faith seem scarce.  Cause you love me with my quirks and my flaws and for who I am.

You’re not afraid to tell the truth, yet somehow you see so much good in me.  It’s like God put half a whole in each of us, and then he touched our eyes and now we can see each other so beautiful.  And it’s clear that we were meant to stand side by side inside this world, and together we make a whole new beauty. Cause you love me with my quirks and my flaws and for who I am.

It’s plain to see that God loves me because He blessed me with a friend like you.  I know you could find a friend who was smarter, easier, funnier, but I know you won’t, cause you know that’s not how friendship works, and somehow I’m beautiful to you just like this.  And I will never ever ever steal my half from our whole, so maybe we’ll be in this tiny paradise forever till we travel to the next and meet each other there. Cause you love me with my quirks and my flaws and for who I am.

I’d have never seen this certain kind of beauty without you.  And I would not be here now without you, and if I was, I’d be running backward to find you wherever you were.  Cause who else would I laugh to? Who else could I be quiet with? Who else would listen so well? Who else would share their crazy schemes and dreams with me?  Who else could make my heart pour over, and yet be fuller than it ever was? Who else could be you? So today I’m thanking God and I’m thanking you, cause I see you two have been working together all this time to help me on my way.  Cause you both love me with my quirks and my flaws and for who I am.

As I pray, I ask that I may be to you what you have been to me.  There are few gifts I can imagine that would be greater than being granted the ability to tell you, show you, how much I love you.  How much you mean to me. How much you’ve impacted me. How much I’d sacrifice for you. For you, I’m casting away my fears and insecurities so I can show you how much I love you.  For you, I study and write and read so I might be able to tell you how much I love you. For you, I’m taking my walls down brick by brick so you can see how much I love you. For you, I’m killing my selfishness so I can love you even more.  Cause I love you with your quirks and your flaws and for the beautiful person you are.

This is my prayer.  I will dream and wish and fight to become that person that our whole might be even more beautiful, and that we might catch and reflect a fragment of God’s glory in our tightly clasped hands.  We will love each other, and God’s smile will wreathe our embrace. Life isn’t easy, but it’s certainly more beautiful when you’re in. It’s said that every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, so, with you, it’s easy to remember to thank God for you.  Cause I love you with your quirks and your flaws and for the beautiful person you are.

Before I knew you, I searched in my heart for you, the piece that was missing from me.  You were worth the wait. But as we look back on a past filled with waiting, can we agree to look forward to a future without fear?  For how can we question God’s love for us when there are such people in the world that have been given to us? And if God’s love is with us, then who shall we fear?  It might be dark ahead, but we’re together, and we can be sure that God will light the path under our feet. So promise me you won’t be afraid. You helped me first see what God’s love is, and so I will not be afraid.  Because God is with us, and He loves us with our quirks and our flaws and for the beautiful children of His who we are.

So did you know that this is how I feel?  I look forward to a fearless future with you, but for the moment, I will continue living and loving and trying so perhaps someday I will learn a new, better way to say “thank you.”

Please consider this the beginning of a life that will be written by, set to the time of, and painted with the colors of love.

4 thoughts on “Thankful

  1. Aww! Ellery. That was really sweet. Everyone should apply this to their own thankfulness of their friends and family.

    Like

  2. I……… I love this so much. I can picture myself saying that to a friend of mine, and it makes me cry because it’s so perfect but also sad (he’s goooooooooonnnneee).

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s